Experiencing Pregnancy, again

I'm currently 39 weeks today with my second pregnancy. I'm lucky, I know. To be able to carry my own baby into this world. I feel fortunate and amazed that my body can create life.

But damn it is hard.

The physical and mental rollercoaster that we all experience in nine months. It's not for the faint of heart.

There are two major themes that has come up for me this second time around. For one, how to really practice loosening the control (notice how I said loosening and not loose all!) on all things in life. When I found out I was pregnant, I was in a very tough spot mentally. Struggling to find the right job, to create community in Portland, to balance my marriage and family relationships in the daily grind of life. Basically, life was happening, but I was floundering. Once I found out I was pregnant, I really felt my body and mind just let go.

Just a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant, I was at my friend Heather's house with a few other ladies and we were creating vision boards while chatting. It was a dark, cold February day and because of my low on life attitude, I wanted to channel hopefulness and brighter days ahead. Some of the themes that came to me was - new beginnings, let things go, be messy, stop striving for perfection, and let life unfold as it should. Well, damn did that come through to me quickly. Our society tells us that perfect = good. So much emphasis on making it seem like everything is great, especially with social media being one of the main communication channels with one another. I have learned through this second pregnancy that I don't need to have my shit all together, and that I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself to make it look that way. As the third trimester came around and I physically can't do much, I have allowed things to just be as they are. The messy room, the unfinished to-do list, the perfect job or instagram-worthy photos unposted. And I have to say, it feels good. The second theme that came up for me was how really emotionally unprepared I was the first time I went through my postpartum experience. And I wanted to change that this time. Yes, as the second pregnancy and baby experience, you should know what to expect, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself as it was your first. I found myself to have very little attachment to setting up the baby's room or finding the perfect baby outfits. But spending more of my focus on how to make sure I feel supported, emotionally and physically this time around.

To do this I spent time researching local mom's group (to this day I can't find any in person in Portland that are of a certain postpartum time period - something I'll change!), talking with my family and friends about their help, and setting my own bedroom space to feel comfortable and conducive to spending the first days and weeks. One of the things that I also focused on was postpartum meal planning. I have been following this book The First Forty Days, The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother , which is a lovely guide to nourish my body once baby comes. And since I am lucky that my husband is the cook, I am able to provide him with some responsibility in helping me in my recovery.

I'd be curious to hear other mother's journey as they prepared themselves for baby's arrival.

What sort of practices or preparation did you find most helpful through your first few weeks of postpartum life?

Thanks for listening, Caitlin